Archive for the ‘new zealand’ Tag

Watch “Beardyman Drives – Upside Down – 2020-04-07” on YouTube

I’m honestly not sure why I made this… but oh well.. seems it’s done now..

Have a look… like it.. subscribe .. click on the bell… go on.. you know you want to… you can ring my bell …. ring my bell….. hahahaha name that song and artist in the comments 😁

We danced a little

We danced a little, both of us on-edge,

strangers in eachothers arms, comfort found in distance.

Our conversations are always fragrant, full of fresh summer mornings,

yet also still – like evenings laying together under snow-crested trees.

 

I don’t recall the apart-time much, fragments that wake me with 3am chills.

found listening carefully, noises inside your tummy after few drinks,

Staggered words foreboding foretelling of what’s not to come.

 

am I Stronger, I could be, not close to hillsides or rivers,

just, daisies swaying in midday heat, but stronger.

 

illusions, still plague me though, vermin at the feet of our dead,

not pushed past boundaries in need of crossing, no release,

just hanging on, slivers of willingness under duress, losing grip on time.

 

No one to reach out to anymore, anywhere are voids vast vulnerable,

safe though, safe, not here, just unwilling to be afraid of it,

lying creatures as we are, jesting for coverage both in need.

 

Swiftly quickly, left behind remnants remains left of us

no sollum sad staged goodbyes, just this corse dust.

 

human hands outreach outstretched outside us now,

pushed beyond broken, no more, no more –

found you again, at last, my last breath, you’re well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did you know I cook ?

Not well, but hey.

follow my youtube… there’s lots more to explore 🙂

 

 
Exploring Life where
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beardlife, beardyman, beardyman nz, travel, soulfood, food, photography, photographer, myfoot, auckland, new zealand, NZ, kiwi

24 hours on – New Zealand is now closed for business.

20th March 2020 – in about 10 minutes (as of the time of writing), it would will be the completion of the first 24 hours of New Zealand closing its borders to the world.

First time in New Zealand history that this has happened.

Covid-19 is partly to blame, idiots who can’t follow instructions like “self isolate” (these being mostly tourists and some dumbass locals) are mostly to blame.

As of this time, we now have 39 confirmed cases, up 11 from yesterday’s 28.

I don’t agree with the border closing, but, I do.

It was realistically the only option available to try and stem the stupidity.

However, this has a greater effect than just stopping people entering the country, it also effectively stops us leaving.

And guess what it’s done for my mental state of wellbeing, considering I now feel so totally powerless and helpless, that I can’t reach out and assist someone that is dear to me, who is stuck in Australia.

So close, so very very close, yet so fucking far now.

The internet, made the world smaller, distance wasn’t a issue, we have emails, VOIP, instant messaging, many ways of keeping in touch, and it was fairly easy (though somewhat costly) to buy a ticket and fly somewhere… but for now, and who knows how long, we are trapped again, imprisoned within this country, within our minds, within… these bones we exist around…

Trapped and broken.

Now what.

I went into town this evening (friday night)… and it’s quiet…. usually full of party-goers.. now, it’s quiet.

I think of my friend in Australia, and it’s still quiet, aside from the screams of frustration echoing eternally inside my bones..

I feel broken.

One of the stabilities I had in my life, a crutch, an emergency relief, was that I knew if things got too bad, I could just buy a plane ticket and fuck off for a while… escape the maddening screams that touch me every time I walk into my house, or sit in my car, or think about the time we spent together enjoying each others friendship and that soulmate style bond… the screams grow louder … and yes, I know I’m not really escaping, because this issue, these problems, this frustration and anxiety .. is all in my head, and it travels with me all the time.

Since yesterday, or even the few weeks I’ve had to manage again by myself, I’m restless, hardly getting any more than 3 or 4 hours sleep… cursed with lying awake in bed, no distractions other than my mind making things worse than they need to be, causing me to panic, and oh, that’s the other fun part, the panic attacks again… something I’ve not had for … well… over 20 years… are back… they welcome me every morning, accompany me through my day, and lay me to rest through sheer exhaustion each night. for 3 or 4 hours, then we start again.

We all carry our own personalised hell with in us. some of us get to sale through hardly noticing… some of us notice.

Broken.

And I don’t know what to do.

Broken.

Life has taken a darker turn for me of late. I pretend that I can see the dim illumination of hope, but, as I said, I pretend.

Broken.

I miss you my friend. You may never read this, maybe I hope you might, mostly I don’t think you ever will, but mostly, I don’t know if we will ever see each other again.

Thank you for everything. just in case.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strength after pain.

A few months ago a news story hit .. in relation to a Universary Student that suffered some hard times and how horribly they were treated by the University.

It’s sad that this happened here in NZ but I guess I only feel that way because I have some wonderful friends who have attended that University and it has been mentioned that the behaviour of that University is not an uncommon thing.

https://sites.google.com/ausa.org.nz/openletter/home?fbclid=IwAR1mSyoP102SXzjoSiJ9UfOjXXRBrJbyRBIzVjHHo2RK8uChmyjH8xBjSQU

It’s worth a read. It’s hit international news. It still happens.

https://www.pressreader.com/new-zealand/the-new-zealand-herald/20200108/281530817954519

Everyone should.be given a fair chance. It’s obvious that the University in question is only looking out for its self and cares not at all about it’s students.

What would you do ?

The world is getting smaller

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Today is a good day.
I woke up alive (always useful), had great coffee, worked, came home, watched GOT S08E05…
but best of all, I had a phone-call from a dear friend living in Europe.
It still amazes me, even to this day, how fast technology has jumped.
When I was little ( yea 40+ years ago lol ) , we had the old school analogue phones (manual exchange too) that bounced calls around on copper lines, and internationally via satellite.
I remember the delays on conversations that tech offered.. 
Then fibre hit, woohoo.. nice.
Then the more modern advent of the mobile phone, call quality internationally took a step backwards but caught up quickly.
Now a GSM call to an overseas friend is pretty seamless … and just now, my chat with my friend in Europe was via one of the many mobile messaging apps available nowadays…
No paying for international calls now, when it’s all via an app and the internets… though I do wonder how long before internet providers start clamping down on apps and charging for “value added” services to allow you to use a messaging app.. 😛
Still though, through all that… it’s the best feeling chatting to a dear friend on the other side of the planet… ( excluding those pesky time zone differences 😛 )

Those technology jumps though.. manual telephone exchange … to mobile apps .. black and white tv to … mobile apps.. no mobile phones too.. mobiles and their apps… life was simpler back then, it was smaller too, and less interesting, but more connected to the community immediately around us, though not so much these days. 

 

Nothing quite like seeing people in person though, but that’s not always possible… I wonder.. how will things be in 5 or 10 years time… I wonder.. 🙂
In the end though, I am always and forever grateful for the beautiful people I am blessed to have in my life, from my friends down the road, to those on the other side of the world, all around the world, everywhere… thank you, and keep exploring. ❤
Oh, don’t forget coffee and chocolate 😛
Please visit my two IG’s.. and show some love by following 🙂
Photography Site: https://www.instagram.com/asylumimages/
That’s it from me, I need sleeps.
Exploring Life where
ever it may take me.

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Thanks for being awesome
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