Because by the time you’re done with the medical profession.. you’ll wish you just got hit by a bus instead….

So, not feeling too bright the last week or so, went to my doctors on Monday…..

Finding that my original doctor has resigned, made me very happy… didn’t like her much.  New doctor… very cool dude with a weird accent….

Explaining the gubbins to the doc, and he writes me a script to get blood-works done…. i mentioned to him in passing that I’m not sure my blood has ever done an honest days work in its life… he said not to worry, he could tell just by looking at the size my stomach……

…… decide this doctor is a keeper – he has a sense of humour.

He said I’d need to be NBM for the night, and i was.. aww ok..

at this point in the story, it’s important to note that i generally goof-off a lot, more so if the situation is more serious…. …

anyhooters….

next day, Tuesday morning at 7am i show up bright and early at the blood vampiring lab place to give my donation to the red sucker testers….

I was the second one there. sweet, no long wait…… the nurse comes up and askes me if I’m me and to follow her, so as a good me i am i did……

Now, I’m not feeling the best, haven’t had anything to eat or drink since last night, and am really hanging out for a drink of water or coffee… me.. not in the best of moods…

So she sat me down and in her professional English-is-not-her-first-language way asked me to roll my right sleeve up…. to which i smiled at her as she looked at my arm, and i pointed out…. short sleeves… no rolling required….. I’m not sure if she totally understood me or not….

she put that thingie on that stops the blood flowing….. dabbed my little soon to be mono-vamperic hole arm, and… suck me, THREEE FUCKING TIMES with a needle.. all of which was followed by me saying “DANGIT” and her going “sorry” before she managed to get the thing right, and suck 2 vials of my reddy goodness…

  .. she broke my arm

note at this point, that i very quickly decided it was wrong to be one of the first people in because i think the nurses just start warming up on them….. wasn’t at all impressed.

Then, bless her cotton socks, she hands me a sample vial and a cup thingie and says.. and i shit you not.. “i want to sample your urine”…..

….at which point i seriously could not help myself and i started laughing at her and said she’d have to pay me for the privilege , which i think she understood cause she didn’t seem so impressed.. .. who knows, maybe in her previous profession she was a “pro” if you get my drift…. *cough* anyways……  i asked her if i could have that as a takeaway as i had already hosed down a few mountains and wasn’t quite up to carving out a valley with out my morning coffee just yet.

she wasn’t impressed – again – like i really cared at that time.

she spoke to the receptionist who gave me a nice brown paper bag to stuff the gear in

… and so off i went to work… bleh bleh…

anyways, i returned  few hours later with said expected sample as requested in my own magical way…

…..the receptionist wasn’t impressed.

So then…

I’ve a follow up with the doc on Friday with the test results….

i fear the worst though…. i think he’s gona tell me I’m pregnant..

The moral of the story… meh i haven’t a clue.

It’s a story, factual, for your entertainment at my suffering.

bleh